Nursing Aversion 

Now, this is a bit of an odd topic to write about, mainly because I didn’t even know it was a thing until a couple of weeks ago. Bare with while I try and explain what it is before I relate it back to me.

So, nursing aversion is where you get this really strong feeling, like your body is telling you to stop feeding. It can happen at any age and at any time, whether you want to stop feeding or not. 

How does it relate to me you ask? Well, the past week or so I’ve been getting this feeling. It’s okay if he only feeds for a couple of minutes, which is normally the case, but any longer and it starts to rear it’s head. It starts slowly and builds and builds until I just have to take him off. I know, I sound horrible for doing it. Let me tell you how it feels for those who don’t know.

Imagine you’re out for dinner. It starts off as a lovely evening, you’re all chatting away. You order and food comes. This is when you find out one of your friends eats reeeeeeaaallllyyyy loudly. At first you can ignore it, you think, it’s not so bad. However, the more they eat the louder it gets. It starts to really grate on you. It’s all you can think about, all you can hear, until you can’t take it anymore. 

Now, we have had a really good breastfeeding journey, and he doesn’t want to stop yet, even though he takes less all the time. Yet this has thrown a bit of a spanner into the works. It’s like my primal nature has had enough. Not enough that I get it immediately when I nurse, but enough to stop him after 5 minutes. The working of the human body is fascinating. 

Apparently, all animals that feed their young can get this. In other mammals, take dogs for instance, they wean their young completely at this stage. If a puppy wants to feed they walk away until the puppy gives up. Fascinating!

Anyway, my point to begin with before I rattled on was I never even knew this was a thing, and if anyone has any experience of it please let me know. I’d love to know what you did and how it made you feel. If he was ready to stop nursing I’d take it as a sign to stop, but he isn’t, so I guess I’ll have to continue fighting the urge as best I can for now. Us breastfeeding mums don’t have it easy! 

Thats all for now. Speak again soon.

Hollie 

Xx

Advertisements

So, when’s the next one?

It’s funny, as soon as your child turns one the whole world and their wife feels like it’s their business to ask when’s the next one. Some will then proceed to tell you that having them close together is better as they’re closer, or have them far apart so you give yourself a break. Let me break this down for everyone who has ever asked this question. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 

Now, that may sound a little rude, apologies, but I am honest to god sick of random people asking. So, I’ve compiled a list of my inner workings as to why we are or are not expanding our family yet, for all you nosey nellies out there.

1. We aren’t ready;

Nice and simple this one. We are quite happy how we are. We have finally got a good balance going and don’t want to tip it too far one way. Plus, we’ve still got plenty of time. I’ve got uni starting back up and Jamie’s working on his stuff. Why can’t we just enjoy Logi? He’s got so many milestones still to cover, he needs our full attention now more than ever!

2. Money, money, money;

Unless any of you lovely people are going to finance our next child then I think we’ll wait thanks.

3. Nappies;

Now I know plenty of people have them close together, and that’s fine, that’s your decision. Personally, I only want to be changing 1 persons nappy, not 2 or 3! Once Logi is out of nappies and fully potty trained then we will see.

4. Sleep…..

Admittedly I still don’t get as much as I’d like, but I’m currently getting 6 hours straight followed by a further 2/3. I feel like a whole new person, until he goes through teething or a growth spurt and he’s up 6-8 times a night… I can’t do that and deal with a new born! 

5. Breastfeeding;

I don’t know why I’ve put this so far down but hey ho. He’s still breastfeeding. I don’t want to wean him before he’s ready, and he most certainly isn’t right now. Yes, daytime feeds are infrequent but night times and mornings are still there. 

6. Logan’s needs;

Logan needs to be ready before we have another. I know what it sounds like, that he runs the house, and he does, but why have kid(s) if you aren’t going to put 110% of your time and love into them. I need to know that he is ready for a sibling and that mummy and daddy will have to split their time. He’s far too young right now.

So, in answer to your question, unless a surprise happens, we will have a big age gap, because it works for us. It may not be how you do things, but in our family dynamic it’s how we do them.

One last note to make. Before you ask this question think about those who struggle with fertility. Just because they have a child doesn’t mean they can automatically get pregnant. It may have taken them years of trying, miscarriages, still births or multiple rounds of fertility treatment to get their one healthy and happy child. People hide this topic for many reasons. Thankfully, we can choose when to bring another life into the world, others are not so fortunate.

Hollie

Xx

1 Year Old!

Wow, where has the year gone. It only feels like yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital and now he is a walking talking person. Some days I would love nothing more than to have my new born back, and then it comes to bed time and I’m like ‘nah, I’m good’ 😂

Logi has achieved so much in the space of a year. Here is a short list of his accomplishments;

Walking

Talking

Feeding and using a cup by himself

Blowing raspberries

Giving kisses and cuddles

Turning pages and knowing which book I ask for! 

Stacking and posting

Pushing through 12 teeth!

There is so much more to say, but I would be here all day listing it all. I know every other baby also completes these milestones, but when it is your own it’s just extra special.

A year on he weighs in at nearly 22lbs. Loves his milk and food, especially tomatos, which he eats like apples! He now asks for milk when he wants it too, but can also understand that sometimes he needs to wait. 

He still loves music. I dont think that will ever change. Ed Sheeran is still his favourite. Any kind of water activity and he would jump right in if I didnt hold him back. He also loves reading, animals and thomas. 

So much can happen in a year. Its quite scary yet amazing. One thing I wish I had done more of over this past year is live in the moment more. In the beginning I was trying too hard to be ‘supermum’ and feel I missed out on really enjoying the cuddles and quiet time with my bear. I now know that the cleaning can actually wait and that people won’t mind if your house looks like a bomb went off! I’ve said this before but hindsight is a wonderful thing and because of it I feel I now enjoy the cuddles more, especially when he has fallen asleep feeding. They are becoming far and few between.

That’s another area that we are still exploring. He still loves to feed and I love being able to feed him. We are taking it at his pace so who knows, we could go another couple of months or even years. Im excited to see what the future has in store for us on our breastfeeding journey.

This next year is going to be just as amazing. He still has so much learning and growing to do. Its also going to be a busy year with me going back to my studies, so our time together is going to be even more precious. I have mixed feelings but know it’s only going to benefit us as a family me getting my degree.

Right, kinda a mix of topics all thrown into one. I hope it’s readable. It is to me, but then it’s my thoughts….. Anyway, he’s to another exciting year!

Hollie

Xx

 

Breastfeeding rant

Once again a post on Facebook has made my blood boil. Ignorant people posting that women should cover up in public when breastfeeding or go to the toilets. My reply.

FUCK YOU!

I don’t swear but oh my god. Do you know how hard it is to breastfeed? How many women don’t go out for fear they will have to breastfeed in public and have people like you say ignorant and rude things? Do you know how much that can knock someone’s confidence?

A baby is formula fed, no one asks them to cover the baby up or feed in the toilets. Why is it different for breast fed babies?

How often do you see a Victoria Sectrets advert or a woman with a low cut top? You don’t say anything then. I show less than they do when feeding yet you lose your marbles?

My son needs a feed I will bloody feed him. I love our connection and being able to feed him myself. Some women aren’t so lucky.

Stop being ignorant pigs and grow the fuck up! You don’t like it, don’t look! My body has grown, birthed and nurtured a child. What has yours done?

I’m not against formula feeding but when people say ‘theres no need to breastfeed when there is formula’ my inner facts bitch comes out. The main one being;

Formula was invented for infant cows to drink. It has hardly been changed since then. It is heavier than breast milk, has zero to no antibodies and no where near as many nutrients and vitamins.

Like I said, im not against formula, but you come at me being stupid, I’m going to come back with facts and figures, twat.

My son has had 1 illness this past year. How many has yours had on formula? He has no comforter, no special teddy or dummy.

Im not saying I’m perfect, not in a long shot, but never make women feel bad about breastfeeding in public. WE HAVE RIGHTS!

I will fight for these rights because people like you don’t know about them. You think your opinion is the be all and end all. Shut up. I support women however they feed their child. You belittle women for doing different to you? For having different opinions? For leading a different life?

Maybe you need to grow up first before you say anything.

I’m so glad that the majority of people support breastfeeding, its the minority that bring society down.

Sorry for the rant, had to get it off my chest.

For those breastfeeding. You are doing amazing, don’t worry what people think or say. You are a Goddess.

To those formula feeding. You are also doing amazing. Keep up the good job.

To those insociety who support both sets of women. Thank you.

To the assholes. Fuck off!

Hollie

Xx

11 Months Old!

Only 1 more month until he turns 1! It’s a scary thought. It felt like ages away when he was a new born, and now it’s right around the corner. When you hear “time flies when you have kids” they weren’t kidding!

So, where are we at 11 Months. Movement wise he does a cross between a bum shuffle and a drag. It’s a bit odd to watch but it gets him from A to B. He is also up to 13 independent steps and standing unaided for as long as he can be bothered.

Verbally he says 4 different words (mama, dada, baba and nana). Non verbally he can tell me no, by shaking his head or tilting it to the side. He points to things he wants and knows the doorbell. He even cuddles into you when Ed Sheeran comes on because he knows it’s time for bed. He teaches me something new everyday!

He just had his 1 year check. He weighs in at 21lb 3oz. He is right on track for everything. I did learn that the charts are based in formula fed babies. Why do they not have one for breastfed? Does that mean the chart does not apply to him? Of course he’s spot on where he should be, he is on milk tailored for his needs. 

He loves his sensory class, although he was a bit clingy at the last one (teething issues). He loves the activities and watching the teacher. Shame he’ll be too big soon.

He loves reading. It may be the same book over and over but a different book each day. He also loves Thomas the tank engine, ducks and the swings. 

Im currently planning what to do for his 1st birthday. He loves playing in water so maybe something on those lines. He’s growing up too quick, soon he’ll be moving out…….

Lets not think about that just yet. Till next time.

Hollie

Xx

10 Months Old!

I know I probably say this every time but how is he 10 months old! Time, please slow down.

We’ve had a very busy month, hence why there have not been very many blog posts. Add to that the past week Logi hasn’t been very well, which has been hard to watch – poor bubba.

Anyway, 10 months, wow. He is cruising on anything and everything he can pull himself up on. This has led to a few bumps, but that’s all part of the learning process. He just gets too adventurous and ends up on his bottom! He’s also using his house to walk! It’s a good thing it can fit through the hallway.

He also loves the babble, whether that be to someone or himself. Mama, Dada and nana are said often, although nana also means banana 😂. He’s also developed his own way of saying no, where he’ll tilt his head to the left so it touches his shoulder. Smart little man. He points to things he wants too, although, if he knows he shouldn’t have it then he’ll also make a grabbing motion with his hand. He’s picking up more and more new skills everyday.

We started a sensory class which incorporates music, lights and textures. He loves this  class and his eyes do not leave the teacher! It’s so fascinating to watch him explore new environments and interact with other children.

He’s also come down with his second illness and isn’t coping well. He’s been off his food (I know, shock! He’s also been sleeping more and having more milk. It’s hard knowing what to do, especially when it’s so out of character. He’s getting better though. Poor bubs.

Weights wise he is still a pudding, nearing 21lbs. He’s growing out of his 9-12 month clothes already, mainly in length mind. Looks like I’ll be taking in lots of trousers round the middle to keep up with his height!

That’s all for this month’s update

Hollie

X

20170501_181904

Oh, and we can also clap now 👏

Mastitis is a b*tch

I think the title sums up my feelings on this topic!

Last week I developed mastitis, and for anyone who has ever had it knows my pain.

It started when I noticed a hard red lump that, over a matter of hours, turned into full blown flu symptoms. I can honestly say I’d rather give birth than have it again!

The next day I got on antibiotics and within 24 hours I felt so much better. If I hadn’t of managed to get an appointment I have no idea what I’d have done.

Feeding hurt. Like really hurt. It was like going back to day one. I’d take in a sharp intake of breath whenever he latched on, and have to breath through the pain at each feed for a couple of days.

If that hadn’t of been a busy week (congratulations to the newly weds!!) I probably could have rested a bit more, but things needed doing.

It was awful. Especially as feeding is meant to help. It has been the only time since the beginning that I have wanted to stop, purely because of the pain. I like to think I can handle pain, I’ve given birth for God’s sake! But when you know it’s coming and you could stop it, that’s something else.

I pushed through however and am now clear (cue the happy dancing). I have been very lucky with breastfeeding up until this point. There are always trials to test us and I’d like to think that I passed this one.

Hollie

X

9 Months Old

I can’t believe we are already doing another update. Last month flew by!

3/4 of the way through his first year. How on earth did that happen! He was only born yesterday, right?!

What has happened this past month….

He is now weighing in at (drum roll please)……. 19lb 8oz. Although he’s only on the 50th percentile I can’t imagine a baby being bigger. I’m sure I mentioned in the last one that he was out of his 6-9 month clothes. If I didn’t,  he grew out of them at the beginning of the month.

There’s something quite sad about folding away baby clothes. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I love watching him grow but at the same time want him to stay little just a short while longer. Those clothes may get used again, but not by him, and there’s something a little sad in that.

He’s pulling himself up! Now we are in for a world of fun 😊. He isn’t a crawler, it’s not for him. He hates, and I mean HATES, being on his front. He’s and bum shuffler at best. Walking however, well I think he may skip straight to that. He’s had strong legs since he was born and can stand up for ages if he has something to hold on to.

He still loves his food. He is gravitating towards feeding himself more now though so we have been baby led weaning more and more (I have a video on my instagram for those interested). His pincer grip comes in handy here as he loves picking up the small stuff (peas, sweat corn,  rice etc…)

He’s teething. Again…. It’s the canine ones now and they seem to be a bit more troublesome. He has had calpol on occasion, something I don’t like to do unless absolutely necessary. The dribble is out of control! He could fill a swimming pool with the stuff in less than an hour.

He loves ducks and is acquiring quite the collection. It must be the bright yellow but he also picked out a big blue one so maybe not 😂.

Talking about ducks, he loves the water! Bath time is still a firm favourite, especially now he has learnt how to splash. Our bathroom is rather wet after he is done with his bath I can assure you.

Oh, and here’s the photo. Wouldn’t be a monthly update without it!

Hollie

X20170401_073641

Happy Mothers Day!

Mothers day has taken on a whole new meaning for me this year. It’s my first mothers day as a mum!

Although I love that there is a day dedicated to all the mums out there, we all know how much they do for us! There are so many other important women who deserve to share in this day.

For my Mum. Who without her I honestly don’t know what I would do. This past year has had ups and downs and no matter what she has supported us. Thank you. Thank you for being my mum and the best nanny to Logi. If I’m half the mum you are he is going to be one very lucky little man.

To my Nan. Who won’t read this because she doesn’t use the Internet, but thank you. For looking after me while pregnant, and now for always being in for a cup of tea and biscuit. Logi is very lucky to have such an amazing great nana.

To my Aunt. Thank you. Again, this past year you have done so much for us. To late night hospital trips to cuddles with Logi. Nothing is too much for your family. Thank you.

For all the mums and mums to be. You are doing amazing. Keep it up! Just remember that as long as your family are happy nothing else really matters.

To those who long to celebrate mothers day as a mum. I don’t begin to know what it feels like. Just know that you too are in this celebration today. You will be mummies one day. It may not be today but it will happen.

To those not with us. Our love, hugs and kisses are sent your way.

Hollie

X

Pumping

Something that I don’t do a lot but would like to is pump. From day 1 Logi has always liked his milk, so I found it hard to find time in between to pump. The first 6 weeks of his life he was pretty much on my boob 24/7!

Even as he has gotten older I still find it hard. Mainly because we are constantly on the go and when I do get 5 minutes to myself I have a long list in front of pumping milk.

However, I have just managed to pump enough to leave him for a whole day!!! This took me nearly 4 months to do. Yes, it has been frustrating, especially when I see other mums who are able to pump loads.

I guess I’m not able to pump much. Even now, when he doesn’t have as much because he’s on solids, I still struggle to get more than 2 oz at a time.

I’ve tried drinking more and taking vitamins to increase my supply, that just makes the boy want more milk! Even taking time out at a certain time each day doesn’t help.

I have both a manual and electric breast bump and this has made a HUGE difference. The manual was okay at first, but after a few minutes your hand starts to ache. So I brought a Medela electric breast pump. It is so much more efficient and leaves you hands free to do other things!

I love being able to breastfeed and wouldn’t want to bottle feed, although sometimes it would be nice to be able to leave him and know he has enough milk.

This is just another hurdle to jump over I suppose. One that I’m happy to plod along with and keep going at.

Hollie

X